I need more caramel 

It makes me feel so warm, it even melts right through me!

It melts and melts and melts and melts and melts and melts and melts and melt and melts and melts until everything it touches is covered in caramel 

Until all I can think about is caramel 

Caramel caramel caramel caramel caramel caramel caramel caramel caramel

I love caramel so much 

I want more caramel 

Even after that fountain of caramel that feels like it could go on forever ends, I still feel myself covered in caramel

My heart is covered in caramel

It’s melted in caramel

Caramel is the best

Caramel is everything

I love caramel 

 A constant phantasmagoria full of dreams

I continuously think about that vision of loveliness 

More and more knots arise in my stomach, so much that it hurts

Inability to focus on anything other than the perfect ecstasy 

It’s so excessive, it makes me want to lacerate as my heart becomes heavier and lighter simultaneously 

Hopelessly, inherent muddle that just won’t stop filling my head 

So much, I just want to puke it all out

Yet, It will just come out as utter muddled thinking combined in an intertwined mess

Why even continue to struggle, just to untangle this twisted state that I deeply find myself in?

Succumbing to those feverish, haze filled daydreams is just more blissful regardless.

 i want to rest theres no place to call home where is home im so tired im tired of feeling sick why is everything so tiring i hate this living is becoming tiring again i should just give up maybe i should cut even deeper next time theres no point in doing so i love my friend he means everything to me my stomach feels weird i want to puke again i cant puke young children get on my nerves i want a bed i hate dirty couches what happened to finding a place to stay im tired of clinging onto false hope wheres my dad i dont really want to meet him again theres nothing to mend anymore i feel disconnected from my family my ears are melting can i have a good dream for once i wish i could live in an alternate reality i hate this world is he busy are you busy why do you keep talking to me go away i wanna lay down

I always feel cold and alone whenever you're away
My heart continues to ache, but I can feel an orange emanation surrounding me
It feels like caramelized sugar and warm cinnamon sticks
A never-ending amount that continues to melt right into my sore heart!
That mellow voice and affection I can't seem to get enough of, and even if I do, I end up wanting more and more
I love and care for it so much, everyday it makes me carefree and airy
I just wish that happiness could last forever,
Because nothing can compare to it.

 I gaze at the mirror, the one that does not have any cracks or empty voids within

It’s perfect. 

Tailored completely perfect as to my needs, there’s nothing finer than it.

So hazy and quite out of this world I wish I could just completely absorb myself in it

And so, I do

Yet still, I can immediately feel that it’s a fake reality

An unrealistic reality

A fabricated reality

One from the layers of my own my mindscape

I still linger there, no matter how intoxicating or distorting this mirror is, to a deleterious degree

A delirious solitary

I don’t want to leave it

I don’t need to leave it

I don’t need any other mirrors or reflections that will crack and swirl until an absolute void is all that is left.

None will allow me to pass right through, none will give me the warmth and blissfulness this one offers.

I want to stay here forever, nothing else matters otherwise.